Disagreeing in Love

Disagreeing in Love

By Rev. Lonnie C. Crowe

If we change our minds on moral issues, it does not necessarily mean that our opinions have “evolved.”  If we stand for biblical truths, it does not mean that we are following an archaic system that has no relevance in the modern world.  

How do we cope with living in a world of such diverse ideologies?  

First of all, we must remember 1 Corinthians 14:40 (NKJV) :  “Let all things be done decently and in order.”  Civility is always decent and orderly. 

Civility requires that we put a guard on our tongues and our emotions. 

Proverbs 21:23 (NKJV):  “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.” 

Ephesians 4:30-32 (NKJV)^{: "}And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you."

Civility requires that we associate and have discussions with those with whom we disagree without engaging in foolish arguments.  (2 Timothy 2:23 and Titus 3:9)

We don’t have to be in agreement to be civil.  We must speak in the spirit of Proverbs 15:1 (NKJV): ^“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  

In a discussion, body language and tone are vital components.  When we must take a stand for what we believe, it is important to speak in a gentle tone.  With a countenance of peace and love, we should make eye contact with the other person or persons.  If possible, we can gently take the person’s hand and lead into conversation such as the following:

“We do not agree on this issue.  I still care for you. I still see you as my colleague and my friend.  Even though I do not agree with your lifestyle, because God has given us free will, I support your right to live the way you choose.  I defend your right under the first amendment to exercise free speech.  I will protect you from those who choose to revile and denigrate you.

“It is my hope that even though we do not agree to this issue, that you still care for me.  I still want to be your colleague and friend.  Hopefully, you will support my God-given right to free will and to free speech.  Can we agree to protect one another from those on either side that would revile and denigrate us?”

Romans 3:23 tells us that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.  Therefore, none of us has the right to cast stones.  What does Jesus say to all sinners, to all of us?

“I love you.”

“I died for you.”

“I want more for you than you want for yourself.”

“I am ready to receive you.

One of my favorite authors is Graham Cooke who says, "We seem to be judging all kinds of people who, in my understanding, are doing certain things because they haven’t met Jesus in the first place. So how are they going to meet Jesus if we are judging them for who they are when really we need to be giving them the message of salvation? Let them know that God loves them and has made a way for them to know Him!"

Billy Graham, such a precious saint of God, has said, “It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict.  God’s job to judge and my job to love.”  

Let’s be civil.  It’s the loving thing to do.