To Apologize or Not to Apologize

To Apologize or Not to Apologize

By Rev. Lonnie C. Crowe

When it comes to apologies, we live in a confused and often confusing world.  We are puzzled about when to apologize, when not to apologize and how to apologize.  Scripture instructs us on the importance of the reconciliation that can stem from an apology:  Matthew 5:23-24 (NKJV):  “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” 

When it is necessary, we must apologize.  However:

When, after a feverish day of work, it is not necessary for a shop owner to apologize for locking the doors  in order to relax, to rest and to recuperate.  The gesture seems polite, but lacks sincerity.  I love those notices that instead of offering an apology simply say, “Closed.” 

I enjoy my supermarket that offers no apology.  Instead the posted notice says, “We will be closed so that our employees can enjoy the holidays.”

When a local fast-food store apologized for no longer accepting checks, I told the manager, “You don’t have to apologize for having the wisdom to protect your business from check fraud.”

Also, we do not need to apologize for things over which we have no control.  One thing over which we have no control is the behavior of others.  If my child acts out in school, it doesn’t help if I tell the teacher that I am sorry of the child’s behavior.  It is much more helpful to work with the teacher in guiding the child into wiser choices.  One step in that guidance is for the child to understand that he or she is responsible for the behavior and needs to apologize.

Early in my teaching career, during the turbulent times in the 1970’s, students in the high school where I taught held a rather innocuous sit-in during the lunch hour and missed the first class of the afternoon.  The principal administered an appropriate reprimand and punishment.  I don’t know how other parents handled the situation, but one mother understood the importance of apology.  She came with her daughter after school, visited each of the daughter’s teachers and the school administrators, and stood in the back of the room while her daughter apologized to each of us for the disruption and promised not to become involved again. 

Furthermore, I cannot apologize for the intolerable beliefs and behaviors of my ancestors.  I am not responsible for their actions.  My responsibility lies in not embracing those objectionable attitudes and actions.

We do need to apologize when we have behaved unwisely.  But a flippant “I’m sorry” is not an apology.  In addition, we should follow the advice of Benjamin Franklin who said, “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”  In fact, an apology accompanied by an excuse is not an apology.  It is poor behavior looking for an opportunity to reoccur.  Neither the devil, circumstances nor other people cause our bad behavior.

An apology requires that we take ownership, understand that we have erred and, as much as is possible, make restitution.  

A sincere apology will include repentance.  Repentance requires a change in our thinking.  Romans 12:2 (NKJV): “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

When we realize that our unwise attitudes, words and behaviors are hurtful and offensive, we must shift gears, offer no excuses and make an effort to change.

Romans 12:18 (NKJV):  “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” However, I do not need to give up Christian principles and truth nor apologize for them in order to keep the peace.

Walking in the Kingdom

Walking in the Kingdom

By Rev. Lonnie C. Crowe

Luke 17:20-21 (NKJV)
²⁰  Now when He was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He answered them and said, "The kingdom of God does not come with observation;
²¹  nor will they say, 'See here!' or 'See there!' For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you."

The Kingdom, so often referred to in the teachings of Jesus, is neither the future Millennial Kingdom nor eternity.  It is the ruling presence of God within the heart of every believer.  While the Holy Spirit indwells each believer, we walk in the Kingdom to the extent that we follow the rule of the Holy Spirit Who is our Guide, our Teacher and our Comforter.

While many deny the free will of believers, that free will was established in the beginning.  The Lord spoke through the prophet Jeremiah admonishing believers in his day, and in our own, to return to those paths the Lord had established.

Jeremiah 6:16a (NKJV): “¹⁶Thus says the LORD: "Stand in the ways and see, And ask for the old paths, where the good way is, And walk in it; Then you will find rest for your souls.”

Where do we find those ancient paths?  In the beginning when God created the heaven and the earth.

Genesis 2:8-9 (NKJV):  “⁸ The LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed. ⁹ And out of the ground the LORD God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.”

“Knowledge of good and evil” can be translated as “determination or declaration of good and evil.” Eating of that tree is a metaphor for mankind, with our limited knowledge, determining what is good and what is evil.  It is an “if it feels good, do it” philosophy.  It places man above God and eventually sees man as god. It is the foundation of all paganism and worldly philosophies such as humanism and existentialism.

Culturally, the two trees in the Garden are manifested in the Biblical path and the worldly path.The Biblical path is one of blessing and hope. It is the Kingdom of God. The worldly mindset is one of cursing and despair. One wit described worldly philosophy as “life is one damned thing after another, and then you die.”  

That “doomsday” mindset is seen in many Christians.  One day I visited with another pastor who said, “If the Lord doesn’t return soon, it will be too late.” TOO LATE FOR WHAT?

Walking in the Kingdom requires that we believe in the promises of God, rest in His assurances and occupy until He comes.  We are comforted when we know our God is an overcomer.  John 16:33 (NKJV) “³³ These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

Martha thought the Lord was too late when He approached the grave of Lazarus, but He was right on time. 

We can either walk in the kingdom by resting in the promises of God or fret ourselves with despair.  Those are the choices represented by the two trees in Eden  Remember Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV): ^“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”

Paul eloquently outlined the “old paths”, the Kingdom, when he wrote to the church at Thessalonica: 1 Thessalonians 4:9-12 (NKJV) “⁹ But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another; ¹⁰  and indeed you do so toward all the brethren who are in all Macedonia. But we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more; ¹¹ that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, ¹² that you may walk properly toward those who are outside, and that you may lack nothing.” 

In the Kingdom, “He walks with me and talks with me and tells me I am His own. And the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.” (Charles A. Miles)

Let’s Communicate

Let’s Communicate

Rev. Lonnie C. Crowe

“To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NKJV)

            While this is the season for texting shorthand, it is not always the time to use this form of communication.  Certainly, while it is expedient for the dexterous, its use can often thwart communication.  It is especially detrimental when the use of texting shorthand, mostly confined to abbreviations and acronyms, crops up in both our formal written documents and in our speech. 

            God has empowered us with speech, with words that have meaning and force.  The Lord spoke the universe into existence with precise phrasing.  He did not say, “Lgt ASAP.’’.   

We have been called to impact this world.  Mark 16:14-15 (NKJV): “Later He appeared to the eleven as they sat at the table; and He rebuked their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they did not believe those who had seen Him after He had risen. And He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature”. As ambassadors of the Kingdom of Heaven, the more people who hear and understand what we have to say, the more impact we will have in this world.

            Psalm 45 eloquently expresses this admonition: Psalm 45:1 (NKJV):  “My heart is overflowing with a good theme; I recite my composition concerning the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.” Out of love for our King, we must learn to express our testimonies and teaching clearly and powerfully.

Let’s strive to be communicative. OMG does not have the same impact as “Oh, Lord most high” or “Abba, Father”.  IMHO our words are powerful.  Let’s not dilute them in an effort to be trendy.  You must decide to DIY.  This is not a situation that should cause us to lol.  Instead of “PTL”, all of God’s should say, “Praise the Lord.”