Finding Freedom in Forgiving

Finding Freedom in Forgiving

By Rev. Lonnie C. Crowe

Matthew 18: 21-35:  21.  Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?"

 This scripture does not mean that we should count offenses up to 490 times and then seek revenge.  In scripture, seven is the perfect number.  It is the number of God.  It suggests completeness. Jesus is saying that we should forgive perfectly and completely.  We should forgive the way God forgives, that is absolutely.

Genuine forgiveness is a deep and often sluggish river.  It requires an inner change of heart toward the one who has offended us.  Too often we think we have forgiven when we have only masked our hurt. Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentments and thoughts of revenge. Forgiveness is the act of untying ourselves from the emotions that hold us in bondage to the offense.

A prayer for the journey to total forgiveness: “Lord, I forgive.  Please help my unforgiveness.”

What is forgiveness?

• Forgiveness is not denial.  We cannot forgive what we deny has happened.  We can, and must, forgive without excusing the act.

• Forgiving is wanting God’s best for those who have hurt us and letting God take care of the situation. God’s best for each of us is to walk according to His word. 

• Forgiveness is often a process.  It begins by concentrating on the forgiveness rather than the offense.

The Lord spoke to Israel in Isaiah 43:25: “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.”

If God blots out our sins for His sake, then we should blot out the sins of others for our own sake.

Hebrews 12: 14-15: “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.”

When we are unforgiving, we pay the price over and over. That root of bitterness can become entangled in every aspect of our lives.   We may bring our anger and acrimony into every relationship and every new experience. Our lives may be so wrapped up in the wrongs of the past that we can't experience the joys of the present nor the hope of the future.

Scientific evidence shows that holding on to grudges and bitterness results in long-term health problems. Forgiveness, on the other hand, offers many benefits, including:

• Lower blood pressure and heart rate

• Less stress and hostility

• Better anger management skills

• Lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse

• Fewer depression and anxiety symptoms

• Reduction in chronic pain

• More and healthier relationships

• Greater spiritual well-being

• Improved psychological well-being

An unforgiving, vengeful, or bitter spirit will not only affect us and those around us, it will separate us from the blessing of God.   Therefore, for our own sake, we must forgive others no matter what the offense.

The Word of God also cautions us about being too easily offended.  Consider the following scriptures:

• Proverbs 19: 11: “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and it is to his glory to overlook a transgression.”

• Ecclesiastes 7: 21-22: “Also do not take to heart everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. For many times, also, your own heart has known that even you have cursed others.”

• James 1:19: “Therefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”

It is time to put away the victim mentality, to forgive those who do not always agree with us and to walk in faith and love. 

Jesus taught us to pray: “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” We must learn to walk in that forgiveness.